Christ, My Source of Comfort: Rachael's Continuing Story

April 5th, 2024

Why is it that we struggle with doubt, discouragement, and anxiety when God has provided everything we need (Philippians 4:19)? Ironically, it is often in our greatest times of struggle and stress that we realize that He truly is the Rescuer of our souls and our Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. Today, our friend Rachael gives us another glimpse into her attitudes and fears as she continues to journal her cancer journey in the midst of chemo treatments. Her honest vulnerability, so authentic and rare, challenges and convicts us. Through Rachael’s story, I believe we can also gain a better understanding of God’s words to the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Shortly after publishing last week’s blog, “How Will I Ever Get Through This?” many of the people and things for which I have to be thankful have risen to the surface of my thoughts. How easy it is for us as humans to take so much of the good in our lives for granted. Psalm 68:19 reminds us that He “daily loads us with benefits,” yet it seems that it’s not until we’re faced with loss that we become more keenly aware of how very precious the things and people we had were to us.

Admittedly, it’s part of our human condition―even the disciples who walked and learned with Jesus Himself were plagued by doubt and fear at times (Matthew 14:31; Luke 24:38). God understands and even prods us to “be merciful to those who doubt” (Jude 1:22). As you read two of the most recent entries in Rachael Neal’s Caring Bridge journal, I encourage you to thoughtfully consider her prayer requests and to share your own needs with others as you face challenges in the days to come.

Journal Entry by Rachael Neal―April 2, 2024

We had such a lovely Easter weekend. Thank you for praying specifically that I would enjoy time with family. God was gracious to answer that prayer accordingly!

I haven’t had much time to think about (or dread) this next chemo infusion. I got to bring a special buddy with me today—my daughter, Elli. She’s such an encouragement to me, and I’m looking forward to having her here.

Specific prayer requests for this round:

Pray that my body handles the chemo well, that I don’t develop any resistance to the drugs, and that my side effects are minimal.
Pray for my heart. It seems even cancer can’t heal us from the sins that plague us. I’ve always struggled with complacency in my walk with Christ and self-sufficiency. I can feel myself leaning into those two areas more and more as I settle into this cancer diagnosis, . . . and I hate it. Pray that the Spirit will convict me and change me when I look to cheap comforts (social media, television, a riveting book, friends/family) to soothe my fears and worries. Pray that I would look to Christ to be my source of comfort and that everything else would fade in comparison to what He can give me.

One of Rachael's encouragers shared this passage of Scripture in response:

Psalms 37:3–7 NKJV

Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.

Journal Entry by Rachael Neal―April 3, 2024

It’s dangerous to write a blog post when you’ve been feeling super sad and sobbing all morning, right? Some might even say it is unwise. Yet, here I am, being completely vulnerable with you because I feel it’s important to share the lows and not just the highs.

I thought I prepared myself well for the chemo side effects this time. I was ready for the fatigue, nausea, and achy body. I was not ready for this intense cloud of sadness. The gloomy, grey, cold weather doesn’t help. So, I could use your prayers. Last round, I didn’t feel this way until a few days later. Today, it’s overwhelming, and oddly, it feels shameful. Admitting mental/emotional weakness is harder than admitting physical pain. It feels like I should have more control over my mind and emotions. I know the truth―I know God is with me, carrying me, holding me as I cry. Do I feel it? Not really. Not today.

Your prayers are coveted!

I'd like to draw your attention to two life lessons we can take away from
Rachael’s testimony:

Have you ever, even on a typical day, felt like Rachael? Knowing what is true but not living in light of it? In a recent, not-so-unexpected chain of events, I became anxious and fearful. I began to let doubt and fear overwhelm my mind and emotions. I prayed for deliverance and knew I needed to be vulnerable with someone who would share truth statements and pray for me. That someone―my youngest daughter―did just that, reminding me of many Philippians 4:8 areas of focus that had become blurred and distorted in my thinking.

Philippians 4:8 NKJV

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

As I read these two journal entries, I noticed that the first prayer request Rachael shared on April 2 was not answered as hoped on April 3. Yet, she spoke about and through her misery directly and admitted openly that her knowledge and emotions were at odds. I wonder how many of us are willing to be so open in our own faith walks. Maybe if we were, our periods of doubt and despair would be much more short-lived, and our rejoicing in tribulation (a new reality), knowing that the joy of the Lord―Christ, our source of comfort―is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10; Psalm 28:7–8).

Hebrews 10:23 NKJV

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

Please join us in prayer for Rachael's healing, her family, and her message to touch the lives of others for Christ. You can follow her journey, offer encouragement, and even donate towards expenses for her care by clicking HERE.

Author Bio:
Holly Varnum, Director of Curriculum Development at Reasons for Hope, serves as the Managing Editor for our book projects and weekly blogs, writes blogs and curricular materials to support many of our media resources, speaks at conferences, and trains Christian educators. With degrees in education, curriculum and instruction, and educational administration, she comes with over three decades of experience in working with teens and adults in camp ministry, teaching and administration, and curriculum writing (A Beka Book, Focus on the Family, and Answers in Genesis to name a few). God has provided her with a well-rounded educational perspective through service in Christian schools, charter schools, public schools, homeschooling, Christian camps, and local church ministry. She has been a classroom teacher, instructional coach, administrator, camp counselor, Sunday School teacher, ladies’ Bible Study teacher, and conference speaker. She looks forward to using her passion for God’s truth within the context of Reasons for Hope.

Her hobbies include cooking, baking, hiking, camping, traveling, and working on do-it-yourself projects. Holly and her husband, Paul, also enjoy any time they can spend with their three grown daughters, two sons-in-law, and four grandchildren (so far!). They live between the beautiful states of Maine and southern New Jersey, and yes, they eat lobster (properly pronounced “lobstah”) and crab whenever they get a chance!

To learn more about Holly, or to book her as a speaker for educational, ladies', or girls' events, click HERE.

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